janellemareee

"There are, apparently, persons who are deeply afraid of their own emotions, particularly the painful ones. Grief, regret, sadness. Sadness especially, perhaps. These persons are afraid of obliteration, emotional engulfment. As if something truly and thoroughly felt would have no end or bottom. Would become infinite and engulf them. Such persons usually have a very fragile sense of themselves as persons. As existing at all. This interpretation is “existential,” which means vague and slightly flaky. But I think it may hold true in certain cases. My point here is that certain types of persons are terrified even to poke a big toe into genuinely felt regret or sadness, or to get angry. This means they are afraid to live. They are imprisoned in something, I think. From inside, emotionally. Why is this. No one knows."